When I Grow Up
by Tanta Green
Summary: Nothing is ever as you imagined it when you were little, and for Gohan it's no different, especially when it comes to his feelings for Piccolo. Shounenai Not shota.


Disclaimer:

Tanta: I think I'll let my muse Irvine do this one.

Irvine: So like, Tanta owns shit all. She doesn't own Piccolo or Gohan, and technically, she doesn't own me, so if you sue her, you will get what she owns; shit all.

Tanta: Thank you Irvine, that was very… interesting.

Warning: Shounen-ai (male-male love.)

Irvine: And there's no happy ending, so you might want to break out your tissues if you cry at a lot of stuff.

* * *

Gohan, aged five (and three quarters) gazed up at Piccolo. The green skinned Namek was not moving a muscle or showing any sign that he knew Gohan was there at all.

Just yesterday Gohan had attempted to run away from the Namek. Piccolo had barely said a word to Gohan since he had found the young demi-Saiyan near his mother's house. For Piccolo to be silent was not unusual in the slightest, but Gohan was only five after all, and fairly sensitive despite his enormous fighting talent.

"Piccolo," he called, feeling as though he had done something that he shouldn't. He tried not to cry, despite how horrible he was feeling. Piccolo always hated it when he cried. "Piccolo, do you hate me?"

Piccolo opened his eyes and looked down at the demi-Saiyan. For once a small bit of emotion showed on Piccolo's face. It was only small, but a flicker of confusion nevertheless passed through his eyes and they narrowed ever so slightly.

"I don't hate you," the Namek said, his voice emotionless as usual.

Gohan immediately relaxed and crawled up to sit next to Piccolo on the rock.

"Mr. Piccolo," Gohan said, his eyes twinkling with happiness as he smiled. "Mr. Piccolo," he repeated, and then, without any hesitation whatsoever, he proclaimed with the innocence of one so young. "I love you."

A shadow of a smile passed over Piccolo's features as he spoke.

"Yeah kid, I love you too."

* * *

Gohan, aged six, smiled as Piccolo appeared in front of him, all the horrors of battle fleeing momentarily from his mind as he gazed upon his friend for the first time in what seemed like years.

A few weeks ago Piccolo had died trying to protect the young demi-Saiyan. Gohan had been more upset than he could remember ever being before, even when his father Goku had died.

His older friend Bulma had lost her old boyfriend Yumcha in the fight as well, and when she had suggested bringing the people that had died in the fight back with the Dragonballs, Gohan's tears had immediately disappeared.

When it had come time to wish everyone back to life, there was no doubt in Gohan's mind who would be wished back first, but he hadn't been sure that it had worked until just then. Piccolo was alive. Everything was going to be all right.

* * *

Gohan, aged seven, laughed happily as Piccolo announced that they had done enough training for the day. He looked over his shoulder to the valley a couple of hundred metres away where his father Goku and Goku's best friend Krillin were also training.

The day before Krillin had announced that he had a new girlfriend, and had told everyone that he planned to marry her one day if she would agree to it.

Gohan had gone to Goku straight afterwards, and had asked his father why it was that people decided to get married.

"Gee," Goku had exclaimed, scratching his head and looking rather lost as to how to approach the subject. "Well, you see, when two people love each other very much, they decide to get married as a way of letting everyone else know how they feel for each other. It also lets everyone else know that they can't start dating either one of the married people."

"Okay." Gohan had accepted his father's answer, and now intended to act upon his newfound knowledge.

He knew that he loved Piccolo, and he could remember a time a while ago when Piccolo had said that he loved Gohan back.

Gohan grabbed Piccolo by the arm and pulled him over to where Goku and Krillin were still training. Seeing that his son had finished training and was now approaching him with a rather annoyed looking Piccolo in tow, Goku stopped fighting and strolled over to meet his son and Piccolo.

Gohan dragged Piccolo closer to his father and then announced with an enormous smile on his face, "Dad, when I grow up, Piccolo and I are going to get married!"

Krillin started laughing. Piccolo looked terrified. Goku looked rather embarrassed and sheepish because of what his son had just said.

"Are you just?" Goku laughed, ruffling his son's hair.

"Yeap!" Gohan answered, a smile still planted firmly on his face.

* * *

Gohan, aged eight, stared out of his bedroom window forlornly. Why did he have to study? The answer came to his mind almost immediately; because your mother told you that you have to.

There were a hundred other things that he would rather be doing, most of them involving spending time with either Goku or Piccolo.

There was a real reason why he needed to be training right now. If they weren't strong enough to beat the androids then everyone, including Piccolo, was going to die. At first his mother Chichi had understood, but now Gohan found himself spending more and more time doing Maths instead of training.

It was a beautiful day outside, and Krillin and Goku would undoubtedly be training together. Gohan wondered what Piccolo would do when he didn't have the demi-Saiyan to train with.

His thoughts wandered, and his hand stopped writing and strayed to a corner of the page. Before he had quite realised what he was doing, he had drawn a passable sketch of Piccolo leaning against a tree with his eyes closed.

Gohan sat back and appraised his drawing. His thoughts continued to revolve around Piccolo, and suddenly study didn't seem quite so bad.

* * *

Gohan, aged nine, walked into his room and collapsed onto his bed. It had been a tough training session, but one that he was infinitely grateful for. It had been the first time in almost a week that he had been allowed out to train with his father and Piccolo.

Halfway through the day Goku had returned to the house complaining of an empty stomach, leaving Gohan and Piccolo to train by themselves. Piccolo was determined to make Gohan as strong as possible and Gohan was incredibly reluctant to stop training now that he had the chance to.

Gohan had caught an enormous fish to satisfy his own hunger, and it was almost midnight when Piccolo returnedthe young demi-Saiyanto his house.

There was a slamming sound down the hall and Chichi came storming past Gohan's room. Gohan was so happy after training with Piccolo for so long that he almost couldn't care what Chichi was going to say, except for the fact that she had one of those scowls on her face that meant someone was in very big trouble and she was heading straight for Piccolo.

"Piccolo!" she screamed. "Do you know how late it is! You only just bring him back to me now! What on earth were you thinking keeping him up this late!"

"We were training," Piccolo answered calmly.

Gohan stuck his head around the door frame to watch the debate, wondering what his mother was so upset about. He had stayed up almost this late doing study before, and had been awake until almost one in the morning last New Year's Eve.

"How do I know that was what you were doing?" Chichi retorted, staring up at Piccolo, angry defiance in her eyes. "Just what are your intentions towards my son?"

"I don't know what you mean Chichi. I am a Namek. We have no need for that sort of thing. I am only training him so that he will stand a chance when the Androids come."

"You may not 'have a need for that sort of thing' but I don't like the way Gohan is behaving around you lately," Chichi said, trying to calm herself down.

Gohan wondered what all the fuss was over. What did Piccolo mean 'that sort of thing?'

"Sooner or later those innocent little looks he is giving you are going to mean something else," Chichi continued. "He idolises you Piccolo, and you need to stop letting him waste all his emotions on you!"

Piccolo's eyes closed for a second, and Gohan knew then that if he was human he would be crying. Chichi didn't know Piccolo quite as well as he did though, and stayed where she was, arms folded and a scowl on her face.

Piccolo looked back up at her, his usual emotionless expression back on his face.

"I can't do that," the Namek told Chichi, before turning his back on her and flying from the house as quickly as possible.

Gohan quickly switched his light off and crawled into his bed, so that when his mother came to check on him it would seem that he had been asleep for the whole conversation.

* * *

Gohan, aged ten, lay awake in his bed in the time chamber. It wasn't as though being able to train non-stop with his father was a bad thing, but he missed Piccolo so much that it hurt. He would have given his entire year's worth of training just to see Piccolo again.

Gohan idly wondered if Piccolo missed him, but knew immediately that the Namek would not. While an entire year would pass in the time chamber, it would seem in the outside world that Gohan and his father had only been gone for less than a day.

A smile crept over Gohan's face as he remembered what an enormous achievement he had managed. Only a couple of days ago he had become a Super Saiyan for the first time, mainly by concentrating on how much he didn't want Piccolo and his other friends to be hurt.

If only Piccolo had been there to see it and share in the excitement. He would show Piccolo soon though. When he walked out of the time chamber he would be a Super Saiyan and Piccolo would be there to see it.

With a smile on his face Gohan fell asleep, thinking of course, of Piccolo.

* * *

Gohan, aged eleven checked the clothes in his closet and immediately pulled out the fighting suit that matched Piccolo's, even though he only planned to study today. His father had died, leaving him alone once again, and he didn't really feel like training, but that didn't mean he stopped thinking about Piccolo.

The sound of someone knocking on the door echoed into his room.

"Chichi," a deep voice said as his mother opened the door. "Is Gohan home?"

Gohan sprung from his chair and raced out to the kitchen. He would recognise that voice anywhere.

"Yes he is," Chichi answered in a matter of fact voice. "He's studying right now."

"How is he taking it? I was worried when he said that he didn't want to train this morning."

"The androids and Cell are gone now," Chichi pointed out. "He doesn't need to train anymore. Why would he want to?"

"He is his father's son Chichi," Piccolo answered. "Something isn't right when Gohan doesn't want to train."

"Hey Piccolo," Gohan called as he entered the room. Chichi's mouth dropped open ever so slightly as she saw that her son was dressed almost exactly the same as the Namek he idolised.

"Why are you here?" Gohan asked.

"Just checking to make sure you're okay kid."

Gohan, aged twelve, looked across the table at his very anxious looking mother. She sipped her tea carefully, but Gohan could see that her hand was shaking.

"What is it Mom?" Gohan asked in his rapidly deepening voice.

"Gohan," Chichi began. "When your father was alive, did he ever give you 'that talk' about men and women and growing up?"

"What talk?"

"Obviously not. It might be a little late to tell you already, but you're growing up now, and sooner or later your body will start changing. During the next couple of years you might find certain parts of your body doing things that they've never done before."

Gohan had a sudden mental image of his arms and legs acting of their own accord.

"Like what?" he asked nervously.

"Well, when you look at pretty girls your… penis, will stand on end," Chichi blushed in spite of herself as she said this. "This is perfectly normal, all right?"

Gohan nodded. This had already happened a couple of times before, but never when he was around the few girls that he knew. It only happened around Piccolo.

* * *

Gohan, aged thirteen, looked up from his lunch as Bulma came storming in through the front door, her eyes wide and her face bright red.

"Chichi!" she screamed. "You are not going to believe this. I don't know whether it was partly my fault or not, but Yumcha is gay!"

"What!" Chichi looked astonished. She quickly put down the cake that she was making and rushed over to support the horrified Bulma. "That shouldn't matter now that you're with Vegeta, should it?" she said, trying to comfort the blue-haired woman.

"No," Bulma admitted, shaking her head. "It was just the shock I guess, and I can't help but wonder if I had anything to do with it. I came home from doing the shopping about an hour ago. Tien had come to visit for a couple of days, and I found the two of them kissing on the lounge."

"What?" Gohan asked. "What's going on?"

"Oh Gohan," Chichi said, shaking her head. "I've never told you, have I? I hoped that there would never be a need for you to know. Either that or you would find out by yourself. There are some very rare, very strange men that don't like women as they're supposed to. It's against nature but some men are attracted to other men, like Yumcha and Tien. Some women are also attracted to other women."

"And this isn't good, or right?" Gohan asked, slightly confused by the concept. If two people loved one another then how could it possibly be wrong, even if they were both men?

"No," Chichi answered his question. "It's very, very wrong."

* * *

Gohan, aged fourteen, moaned as Piccolo's skin rubbed against his own. Their hands traced over parts of each other's bodies that had never been touched before. Piccolo's lips pressed against Gohan's shoulder. His hands moved down Gohan's body, causing the demi-Saiyan to scream with pleasure.

Gohan woke up, the sunlight from his open window streaming in across his bed. He felt very sweaty and sticky.

For a moment he remembered his dream in shock.

Why was he dreaming of Piccolo. His mother had said it was wrong. Only freaks liked other men in that way. He wasn't a freak, was he?

* * *

Gohan, aged fifteen, caught himself staring at Piccolo's superb muscles, and immediately turned away. He had only been visiting the Namek because his mother had pointed out that they hadn't seen each other in over a month. Gohan's clothes were no longer the same as Piccolo's. He no longer wished to spend too much time with the Namek. He knew that he like girls, and he was going to find himself a girlfriend soon. All thoughts of Piccolo had fled his mind.

He knew that he wasn't a freak.

* * *

Piccolo stood aside from the altar as Gohan, aged twenty, stood in front of his new wife as they leaned forward to kiss. He stared at the couple through eyes that would be tear-stained if he was human, remembering the words of an innocent seven year old, the only person who had ever cared for him.

_When I grow up, Piccolo and I are going to be married…_


End file.
